Hindu Mahasabha's Valentine's Day threat is so lovely, couples must avail it

Hindu Mahasabha will force couples to marry on Valentine's Day. Couples who can't because their families don't agree, go ahead, get married and blame it on them.

Kamlesh Singh @kamleshksingh

There is good news and bad news. Since the Bajrang Dal is busy with its national meet scheduled on February 15, the onus of the Valentine's Day vandalism has shifted to the shaky shoulders of the Hindu Mahasabha. This Mahasabha has a national president who goes by the name of Chandra Prakash Kaushik. He wants all 365 days to be like Valentine's Day, but doesn't want a Valentine's Day. "India is a country where all 365 days are days for love, why then must couples observe only February 14 as Valentine's Day?" he told The Times of India, the newspaper that discovered him. "We are not against love; but if a couple is in love, then they must get married," he added. Welcome back to Licence Raj.

The Mahasabha has said that people caught celebrating the festival of love will invite the opposite of love, hatred and punishment. If the lovers turn out to be Hindus, they will be married off in a swift ceremony. If the boy holding hands turns out to be a Muslim, he will be purified into a Hindu before the on-the-spot Arya Samaj wedding ceremony. If the lovers turn out to be homosexuals, the Mahasabha would not know. Great success! They will be busy scouring cafes, restaurants and malls to spot people walking hand-in-hand, couples sitting in corners and anyone carrying a rose. This comprehensive list may or may not include public parks and parked cars.

The good news is that we have not seen much action from the Mahasabha men in the past. The bad news is that we may see them turning their words into deeds. In a country where it takes six people to enforce a highway hold up, Mahasabha's five or so members can enforce their anti-love campaign. Take this threat seriously. Since you also know how our policemen and our governments fear the rage-boys; the onus of our personal safety lies entirely on us.

But the best news is for the thousands of girls and boys who fall in love but cannot marry because their families wouldn't approve of the relationship. They sacrifice their love at the family's altar. This is a golden opportunity for them. Just walk hand in hand, ensure the rose is visible, then walk into a restaurant, take the corner table and wait for the loonies. Get through the short and sweet Arya Samaj wedding ceremony, and you are man and wife. To interfaith people, do not despair. This shuddhikaran is just a little ceremony. And boy, if you happen to be a Muslim, believe you are Shahrukh Khan, and this is a film where you play Rahul. Go through the motions. And emerge a winner. And if the boy is a Hindu and the girl happens to be a Muslim, remember all religions treat women so badly that women in fact have no religion at all. And it doesn't matter how you get married. All that matters is love.

And if you are a law enforcement officer, hang your head in shame that the Mahasabha boys don't believe that you have a spine, and hence take the law in their hands. If you are the government, Happy Valentine's Day to you too, sir, for we love you unconditionally, knowing that you cannot protect our lives and loves. If you can, then prove it. On the day of love.

Source: dailyo

Don't shame item girls: Bharat, our country is named after an item girl's grandson

If crypto-Wahabis are trying to turn Bharatvarsh into a fiefdom of ISIS or the Taliban, it's time they're reminded of such facts.

POLITICS  |   3-minute read |   03-12-2014

Renuka Narayanan


Bah, what a reek of rancid ghee today in Bharatvarsh of once-upon-a-time "malayaja-sheetalam" ("cool winds of delight", in Vande Mataram). Another foul gust just blew our way from Navin Tyagi, general secretary of the UP unit of the Hindu Mahasabha, the nationalist organisation that once had adherents like Pandit Madan Mohan Malaviya, founder of Banares Hindu University.

Navin Tyagi, who does not sound like he paid attention to the nolej in kolej, wants to brand under-clad actresses who dance item numbers “prostitutes”. He also wants a khap-style ban on skirts, jeans and mobile phones for schoolgirls.

This self-declared authority on Indian culture, manners and morals (for women) reportedly said: “The girls who perform item numbers in films and remove clothes should be declared prostitutes. We feel the women who earn money by indulging in obscenity are prostitutes. They are spreading filth in society”. He apparently plans to take the matter to the Supreme Court.

Meanwhile, the very law he plans to supplicate has taken a dim view of Akil Malik (who sounds like Tyagi’s blood-brother lost in childhood at the mela) for slapping actress Gauahar Khan. And why did he do that? When he slapped Gauahar, he told her it was because she, a Muslim woman, was dancing in “short dress”. And when the police took him away, he told them that it was because he was attracted to Gauahar, whom he saw dancing in public that he slapped her - for dancing in public.

Well, I have something to say meanwhile to this crypto-Wahabi, Tyagi, who’s trying to call the shots for women in India and I hope he falls off his buffalo hearing it.

Our country, "Bharat", is named after the valiant king Bharata of myth, right? So, get this, Tyagi and all Ram Sainiks and Rahim Sainiks: King Bharata’s granny, our Desh ki nani, no less, was an item girl, the apsara Menaka. Our country is named after an item girl’s grandson... and his mother, Shakuntala, was technically illegitimate.

It’s never bothered me because I’m a Hindu, not a crypto-Wahabi. Consequently, I’m proud of these vivid and fascinating heroes and heroines of our myth and legend and do not think judgmentally of modern women who dance for a living.

But if crypto-Wahabis are trying to turn Bharatvarsh into a fiefdom of ISIS or the Taliban, it's time they're reminded of such facts.

Perhaps the BJP is learning from how that "sadhvi" of theirs just united the Opposition with her uncultured rant on "Ramzadas".

Certainly, Swami Chakrapani, national secretary of the Hindu Mahasabha and Lalitha Kumaramangalam, newly-appointed chair of the National Commission for Women (NCW) did not hand out a swarna-kamal to Tyagi. Even BJP spokesperson Sambit Patra reportedly distanced himself from this caballero and said the party was “…proud to have a culture where women have led from the front.” 

We’ll see what the BJP actually does to curb its Tyagis and bogeys.

As for us, let’s remember how, at the stroke of the midnight on August 15, 1947, when India finally attained "her" freedom from slavery, it was Pandit Madan Mohan Malaviya’s son, Govind Malaviya, who reportedly blew the conch thrice to announce India’s Independence.

January 26 will soon be upon us. The women of India, and their supporters, should blow a loud raspberry that day at the hostile "men" of India, these Ram-Rahim Sainiks, who are united in being horrible to Indian women, if nothing else.

Source: dailyo