Amrit Dhillon
Contributed to The Globe and Mail Published Monday, Nov. 17 2014, 3:00 AM EST
Last updated Monday, Nov. 17 2014, 3:00 AM EST
As we all know, the best way to defang a bully is to take them on. The moment they know you’re not afraid, they back off. This truism has finally struck the minds of young Indians who used to scuttle away, shame-faced, whenever their country’s self-appointed moral guardians attacked them for celebrating Valentine’s Day, holding hands in public or drinking in a bar.
By launching the Kiss of Love movement, Indian men and women have asserted their right to behave as they wish, provided it’s within the law. Their kissing offensive is a delightfully cheeky way to rattle the old fogies.
It began in Kochi, Kerala, when Hindu conservatives attacked a café where they suspected “immoral” activities, namely canoodling, were taking place.
In the past, the café would have closed out of fear and its customers vanished. This time, a group of youths decided to hold a protest day when couples would kiss publicly. A Facebook drive sparked tremendous interest, which has spread to other cities.
This unprecedented defiance has maddened conservative hardliners, Hindu and Muslim, who believe public displays of affection belong to “Western culture” and fear it will corrupt the “purity” of India’s.
I salute these young Indians, who are taking them on and reclaiming their public space. For too long, they have been docile and too accepting of what their elders told them. This campaign marks a coming of age.
There are two reasons why it’s taken so long to reach this point. One is the natural fear of violence. The other is a residual sense of guilt – the fear that public displays of affection are indeed un-Indian behaviour, the kind of thing their parents and relatives might also disapprove of.
It’s not just traditional Indian culture that leans toward such conservatism. Look at how the Chinese reacted to Russian President Vladimir Putin gallantly draping a shawl around his Chinese counterpart’s wife at the APEC summit. For the Chinese, this harmless gesture was inappropriate.
India is not very different. The conservatives cannot abide manifestations of love in public but feel no dislike for manifestations of hatred, as witnessed in the vitriolic speeches they like to make. Nor do they ever come out onto the streets to protest against the less appealing aspects of Indian culture, such as female feticide and honour killings. For years, they have had the upper hand, imposing their morals on other Indians even if it means roughing up young couples in parks.
Conservatives must realize that culture is not pickled in aspic; it must adapt and change. Change, of course, is what they fear. It may only be kissing today, but tomorrow it could be living together before marriage, love marriages and disregard for caste.
Another disturbing feature in this story is the fact that Kochi police intervened – on behalf of the louts. They should have been protecting the right of the couples, who came under attack despite breaking no laws.
The government must show that it is against moral policing. Someone on Facebook wrote, “Love is a personal thing. Enjoy it and don’t make a drama out of it.” Wrong. If expressing love in public is not a personal thing to the moral brigade, why should it be so to those who want this freedom?
Love is political and has to fight to preserve its space in public life. To those who have unleashed this new energy against the fossils and the feudalists, I say kiss away.
Amrit Dhillon is a writer based in New Delhi.
Follow us on Twitter: @GlobeDebate
Contributed to The Globe and Mail Published Monday, Nov. 17 2014, 3:00 AM EST
Last updated Monday, Nov. 17 2014, 3:00 AM EST
As we all know, the best way to defang a bully is to take them on. The moment they know you’re not afraid, they back off. This truism has finally struck the minds of young Indians who used to scuttle away, shame-faced, whenever their country’s self-appointed moral guardians attacked them for celebrating Valentine’s Day, holding hands in public or drinking in a bar.
By launching the Kiss of Love movement, Indian men and women have asserted their right to behave as they wish, provided it’s within the law. Their kissing offensive is a delightfully cheeky way to rattle the old fogies.
It began in Kochi, Kerala, when Hindu conservatives attacked a café where they suspected “immoral” activities, namely canoodling, were taking place.
In the past, the café would have closed out of fear and its customers vanished. This time, a group of youths decided to hold a protest day when couples would kiss publicly. A Facebook drive sparked tremendous interest, which has spread to other cities.
This unprecedented defiance has maddened conservative hardliners, Hindu and Muslim, who believe public displays of affection belong to “Western culture” and fear it will corrupt the “purity” of India’s.
I salute these young Indians, who are taking them on and reclaiming their public space. For too long, they have been docile and too accepting of what their elders told them. This campaign marks a coming of age.
There are two reasons why it’s taken so long to reach this point. One is the natural fear of violence. The other is a residual sense of guilt – the fear that public displays of affection are indeed un-Indian behaviour, the kind of thing their parents and relatives might also disapprove of.
It’s not just traditional Indian culture that leans toward such conservatism. Look at how the Chinese reacted to Russian President Vladimir Putin gallantly draping a shawl around his Chinese counterpart’s wife at the APEC summit. For the Chinese, this harmless gesture was inappropriate.
India is not very different. The conservatives cannot abide manifestations of love in public but feel no dislike for manifestations of hatred, as witnessed in the vitriolic speeches they like to make. Nor do they ever come out onto the streets to protest against the less appealing aspects of Indian culture, such as female feticide and honour killings. For years, they have had the upper hand, imposing their morals on other Indians even if it means roughing up young couples in parks.
Conservatives must realize that culture is not pickled in aspic; it must adapt and change. Change, of course, is what they fear. It may only be kissing today, but tomorrow it could be living together before marriage, love marriages and disregard for caste.
Another disturbing feature in this story is the fact that Kochi police intervened – on behalf of the louts. They should have been protecting the right of the couples, who came under attack despite breaking no laws.
The government must show that it is against moral policing. Someone on Facebook wrote, “Love is a personal thing. Enjoy it and don’t make a drama out of it.” Wrong. If expressing love in public is not a personal thing to the moral brigade, why should it be so to those who want this freedom?
Love is political and has to fight to preserve its space in public life. To those who have unleashed this new energy against the fossils and the feudalists, I say kiss away.
Amrit Dhillon is a writer based in New Delhi.
Follow us on Twitter: @GlobeDebate
Source: The Globe and Mail
Blogger Comments:
Moral police (whatever their stripes may be) should stay away and don't create 1960s counterculture movement of USA in 2014 India. Don't bring in religion, culture, caste or race for argument as warts and all will come to haunt, and embarass the Nation. Remember! that we don't have a good track record on how we treat our women (mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, in-laws and friends), patriarchal traits still in vogue.
